' / 




DENISON'S ACTING PLAYS 

Partial List off Successful and Popular Plays. Large Catalogue Free 



DRAMAS, COMEDIES, 
ENTERTAINMENTS, Etc. 

M. F. 

Aaron Boggs, Freshman, 3 

acts, 2j2 hrs (3Sc) 8 8 

Abbu San of Old Japan, 2 acts, 

2 hrs (25c) 15 

After the Game, 2 acts, 1^ 

hrs (2Sc) 1 9 

All a Mistake, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 

C35c). 4 4 

All on Account of Polly, 3 acts, 

' 2%. hrs (35q) 6 10 

And Home Came Ted, 3 acts, 

2% hrs (SOc) 6 6 

Arizona Cowboy, 4 acts, 2j4 

hrs (3Sc) 7 5 

Assisted by Sadie, 4 acts, 2i/^ 

hrs .X50c) 6 6 

As a Weman Thinketh, 3 acts, 

21^ hrs (35c) 9 7 

At the End of the Rainbow, 3 

acts, 2% hrs (35c) 6 14 

Black Heifer, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 

(25c) 9 3 

Boy Scout Hero, 2 acts, 1^ hrs. 

(25c) 17 

Boy Scouts' Good Turn, 3 acts, 

134 hrs (25c) 16 2 

Brookdale Farm, 4 acts, 2% 

hrs (25c) 7 3 

Brother Josiah, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 

(2Sc) 7 4 

Busy Liar, 3 acts, 2]/^ h. (25c) 7 4 
Call of the Colors, 2 acts, IJ^ 

hrs (25c) 4 10 

Call of Woheio, 3 acts, 1^ 

hrs. (2Sc) 10 

Camouflage of Shirley, 3 acts, 

2}4 brs (3ic) 8 10 

Civil Service, 3 acts, 2^ hrs. 

(3Sc) 6 5 

College Town, 3 acts, 254 

hrs (35c) 9 8 

Deacon Dubbs, 3 acts, 2^)4 hrs. 

(35c) 5 5 

Deacon Entangled, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 

(35c) 6 4 

Down in Dixie, 4 acts, 2 14 

hrs (2Sc) 8 4 

Dream That Came True, 3 

acts, 214 hrs (35c) 6 13 

Editor-in-Chief, 1 hr....(25c) 10 
Enchanted Wood, 1^4 h.(35c).Optnl. 
Everyyouth, 3 acts, 1}^ h. (25c) 7 6 
Face at the Window, 3 acts, 2 

hrs (25c) 4 4 

For the Love of Johnny, 3 

acts, 2%. hrs (50c) 6 3 

Fun on the' Podunk Limited, 

IVa hrs (25c) 9 14 

Gettin' Acquainted, 25 min. 

(35c) 1 2 

Her Honor, the Mayor, 3 acts, 

2 hrs (35c) 3 5 



M. F. 

High School Freshman, 3 acts, 

2 hrs. ' (25c) 12 

Indian Days, 1 hr (SOc) 5 2 

In Plum Valley, 4 acts, 2% 

hrs (25c) 6 4 

Jayville Junction, 1% hrs.(25c)14 17 
Kicked Out of College, 3 acts, 

2^ hrs (35c) 10 9 

Kingdom of Heart's Content, 3 

acts, 2% hrs (35c) 6 12 

Laughing Cure, 2 acts, 1J4 hrs. 

(25c) 4 5 

Lighthouse Nan, 3 acts, 2% 

hrs (35c) S 4 

Little Buckshot, 3 acts, 2J4 brs. 

(25c) 7 4 

Little Clodhopper, 3 acts, 2 

hrs (35c) 3 4 

Mirandy's Minstrels (25c) Optnl. 

Mrs. Tubbs of Shantytown, 3 

acts, 2J4 hrs (35c) 4 7 

My Irish Rose, 3 acts, 2^ hrs. 

(35c) 6 6 

Old Maid's Club, 1J4 hrs. (25c) 2 16 
Old Oaken Bucket, 4 acts, 2 

hrs (2Sc) 8 6 

Old School at Hick'ry Holler, 

114 hrs (25c) 12 9 

On the Little Big Horn, 4 acts, 

2y2 hrs (25c)10 4 

Poor Married Man, 3 acts, 2 

hrs (35c) 4 4 

Prairie Rose, 4 acts, 2^h.(3Sc) 7 4 
Real Thing After All, 3 acts, 

214 hrs. (35c) 7 9 

Rustic Romeo, 2 acts, 2% 

hrs (3Sc)10 12 

Ruth in a Rush, 3 acts, 2% 

hrs (35c) 5 7 

Safety First, 3 acts, 

2^ hrs (3Sc) 5 5 

Southern Cinderella, 3 acts, 2 

hrs (25c) 7 

Spark of Life, 3 acts, 

2 hrs (25c) 4 4 

Spell of the Image, 3 acts, 25^$ 

hrs (35c) 10 10 

Star Bright, 3 acts, 2J^ h. (35c) 6 S 
Those Dreadful Twins, 3 acts, 

2 hrs (25c) 6 4 

Thread of Destiny, 3 acts, 2% 

hrs (35c) 9 16 

Tony, the Convict, 5 acts, 2% 

hrs (2Sc) 7 4 

Trial of Hearts, 4 acts, 2^4 hrs. 

(35c) 6 18 

Trip to Storyland, 1^ hrs.(35cU7 23 
Uncle Josh, 4 acts, 2% hrs.(2Sc) 8 3 
Under Blue Skies, 4 acts, 2 

hrs. (25c) 7 10 

When Smith Stepped Out, 3 

acts, 2 hrs .(SOc) 4 4 

Whose Little Bride Are You? 

3 acts, 2J^ hrs (SOc) 5 5 

Winning Widow, 2 acts, V/z hrs. 

(25c) ■ 2 4 



T.S.DENISON&COMPANY,PubKshers.154W. RandolphSt..Chicaeo 



THE STAR BOARDER 



A Comedy 



BY 

CHARLES NEVERS HOLMES 

AUTHOR OF 

A Paper Wedding" "Please Pass the Cream" "Smith's Unlucky 
Day" and "Their First Quarrel." 




CHICAGO 

T. S. DENISON & COMPANY 

Publishers 






^%^ 



THE STAR BOARDER 



Mr. Timothy Ticknor A Star Boarder \ 

Miss Martha Hungerford. . .A Boar ding-House Hostess j 

Mrs. Eaton A Widow ' 

Miss Lerned ; A Schoolma'am 

Miss Fillmore A Nervous Invalid 

Miss Drinkwater A Private Secretary 

Miss Painter An Artist 

Miss Klickem A Typewritess 

Miss Molly Breaker Miss Hungerford' s Maid 



Place — Anyivhere. 



Time — At Dinner Hour. 



Time of Playing — About Forty-five Minutes. 



Costumes — Informal dress for dinner table, according to 
the character ivho is represented. The description of 
Mr. Ticknor may he changed to fit the appearance of 
the person playing the part. 



COPYRIGHT, 1920. BY CHARLES NEVERS HOLMES. 






JUL iaiy 



RIGHT 



THE STAR BOARDER 



SCENE PLOT. 



TELEPHONE 
D 



LEFT 



CLOCK 



WINDOW 

MR.TICKNOR a 



/FIRE MISS FILLMORE-O 
/PLACE 



MISS 

MUNGERFORD 

Q 



MISS PAINTERO 



WINDOW 
MISS LERNED 



D MISS DRINKWXTER KITCHEN 
' DOOR 



.D MISS KLICKEM 



/CLOSET 
DOOR 



MRS EATON 



SIDE 
BOARD 



STAGE DIRECTIONS. 



R. means right of stage; C, center; R. C, right center; 
L., left ; I E., first entrance ; U. E., upper entrance ; R. ^ E., 
right entrance, up stage, etc. ; up stage, away from foot- 
lights ; down stage, near footlights. The actor is supposed 
to be facing the audience. 



THE STAR BOARDER 



Scene: The dining-room in Miss Hungerford's board- 
ing-house; a dining-table, almost set for dinner, extending 
from front of stage to rear, eight covers; Miss Hunger- 
ford's seat being at rear, facing audience; Mrs. Eaton's in 
front, back to audience; Mr. Ticknor's, Miss Fillmore's 
and Miss Painter's, respectively, at right hand of Miss 
Hungerford's seat; and Miss Lerned's, Miss Drinkwa- 
ter's and Miss Klickem's, respectively, at left hand of Miss 
Hungerford's seat. Carpet on floor, lighted electric hang- 
ing-lamp over table. At left of room, beJiind Miss Lerned, 
Miss Drinkwater ant/. Miss Klickem, a door to kitchen, 
with window up, and sideboard down stage; at rear of 
room-, behind Miss Hungerford, a large door, with a good- 
sized clock (this clock should have conspicuotis hand and 
dial, being so arranged that its hands can be moved from be- 
hind, and its hours struck, unobserved, according to the 
progress of the play) on right of door and a picture on 
left; and at right of room, behind Mr. Ticknor, Miss Fill- 
more and Miss Painter, a fireplace, tongs, poker, etc., 
with a closet and key down stage and a windoiv up stage. 
Also, a telephojie outside the room, beyond the large door 
at rear. Respecting ages, Mr. Ticknor, Miss Hungerford, 
Mrs. Eaton and Miss Fillmore are about forty; Miss 
Lerned and Miss Drinkwater about thirty, and Miss 
Painter, Miss Klickem and Miss Breaker about twenty. 

As the curtain rises the good-sised clock is striking six, 
and Miss Hungerford and her maid are hurrying around, 
setting the table. Affer the clock stops striking, the maid 
drops a plate to the floor, in ftdl view of the audience. 

Miss PIungerford (sharply). That's the fourth plate 
you have broken today ! It's one of my best plates, too. 
If you keep on like this, you'll be owing me a month's 



wages 



6 THE STAR BOARDER 

Molly (slowly picking up the plate). But it ain't 
broken. Miss Hungerford. 

Miss H. (taking it from her and carefully examining 
it). So it ain't. But how on earth did you manage itj" 
That's the first time I ever knew you to fail! {She places 
the plate, after a brief rub zmth a cloth, at Miss Klick- : 
EM^s seat.) 

Molly (meekly). Yes'm. 

Miss H. (glancing over the table). Is everything in its 
place? — the spoons? — the forks? — the knives? Of course 
not! Molly, you've forgotten Mrs. Eaton's knife, and Miss 
Lerned's, too. 

Molly (going to the sideboard very slozvly and opening 
its lowest drawer). Yes'm. 

Miss H. (sharply). Molly, how many times have I told 
you that I keep all the table knives in the upper drawer? 

Molly (opening the sideboard's upper drazvcr, taking 
out two knives and placing one of these at Miss Lerned's 
seat.) Yes'm. (She starts with the other knife towards 
Mrs. Eaton's seat, but drops the knife to the floor.) 

Miss H. (despairingly). Mercy, Molly, you're even more 
careless than Mary was! And I thought that Mary broke 
the record in smashing cups, saucers and plates. It cer- 
tainly seems to me the higher recommendation those insur- 
ance agencies — I mean those intelligence agencies — give a 
maid, the worse she is. 

Molly (meekly). Yes'm. 

Miss H. (unth another glance at the table). Noiv, is 
everything ready ? Well, call our chickens — old and young ! 

Molly (moving towards the rear door). Yes'm. 

Miss YL. (suddenly). Wait! Oi course! You've forgot- ; 
ten something else — Miss Fillmore's napkin. What a fuss^ 
that crazy old maid would make if she didn't find her nap- 
kin! (She rushes to the sideboard, grabs a napkin and. 
places it beside Miss Fillmore's plate.) All right! I guess 
you can open the door and call 'em in. 

Molly (opening the rear door, speaking loudly). Din- 
ner — is — served! 



THE STAR BOARDER 7 

Five of the seven guests enter in the following order: 
Mrs. Eaton, Miss Fillmore, Miss Drinkwater, Miss 
Painter and Miss Klickem. They enter in haste and 
seat themselves with more or less bustle. 

Miss H. (seating herself with great dignity). Ladies, I 
don't see why you are in such a hurry — this dinner won't 
begin until / am seated. {She serves her guests from a 
soup tureen, Molly assisting her. Miss H. passing the 
soup dish to Molly.) For Miss Drinkwater. I wonder 
where our new guest is? Only one of you has met him, I 
think. You met him at lunch, didn't you, Miss Fillmore ? 

Miss Fillmore (who is drinking from her glass of 
water, nervously spilling some water upon the table cloth). 
Ye-es — yes — I did. 

Miss H. (as Miss Fillmore is using her napkin to re- 
move the water frotn the table cloth). Oh, don't trouble 
yourself about that spilt water, Miss Fillmore. It won't 
hurt the table cloth. If it did, all my table cloths would be 
ruined! Of course, some of my guests are greater splashers 
than others. I don't mention any names, but we all know 
who they are ! (She passes a second soup dish to Molly — 
for Miss Fillmore). As I was saying, I wonder where 
our new guest is? I guess he's forgotten that we dine at 
six sharp, although it's posted up in every room in this 
house. 

Miss Klickem (innocently). But it isn't posted up in 
my room, Miss Hungerford. 

Miss H. (sarcastically). No, I suppose not. All notices 
posted up in your room. Miss Klickem, m^ysteriously disap- 
pear. But, naturally, I can't blame a new guest for not 
knowing our rules and regulations, although I told him 
pointedly, when he was paying me in advance, that break- 
fast is at eight sharp, lunch for such as want it at one 
sharp, and dinner at six very sharp. However, man-like, 
he has forgotten all about it. I do hope our new guest 
won't catch the habit some of us have in being chronically 
late — don't you. Miss Klickem? (She passes a third soup 
dish to Molly — for Miss Painter.) 



8 THE STAR BOARDER 

Miss K. (flippantly). I hope so — for his sake! Have I 
ever been chronically late at meals, Miss Hungerford? 

Miss H. (sharply). Yes! You're always late! Last 
evening you were fifteen minutes late. 

Miss K.- (with an irritating smile). Well, I'm on time 
tonight all right, am I not? So I'm not always late. 

Miss H. (quietly). You seem to be here, but if it were 
possible, I should think that my clock was wrong. How- 
ever, Miss Klickem, don't let it occur again! 

Miss K. (glancing at her wrist watch). Yes, I am abso- 
lutely on time. (Bending forivard to look at the clock in 
the rear of room^.) W-h-y! Miss Hungerford — your clock 
is wrong. (Again glancing at her wrist ivatch.) It is ex- 
actly fifteen minutes fast ! 

Miss H. (angrily). It is not! It is always correct. 
(Turning her head towards it.) That clock doesn't lose 
one minute in a year. 

Miss K. (positively). But I set my watch by observatory 
time this noon and my watch couldn't have lost fifteen min- 
utes in only six hours. 

Miss H. (tuith great dignity). Has any lady at this 
table another watch? Miss Drinkwater, what does yo^ir 
watch say? 

Miss Drinkwater (glancing at her ztrist zvatch, hesi- 
tating a little). Well — er — Miss Hungerford — it says just 
five minutes of six. 

Miss K. (giggling). And your clock, Miss Hungerford, 
says it's just ten minutes past six. 

Miss H. (crossly). Your watch needs repairing, Miss 
Drinkwater! I am sure that my clock is correct. (She 
turns her head towards it.) Has anyone else a watch? Mrs. 
Eaton? (She shakes her head.) Of course not! Miss Fill- 
more? (She shakes her head.) Of course not! Miss, 
Painter? (She nods.) Well, Miss Painter (speaking im-^ 
patiently), what time is it? 

Miss Painter (nervously). It is four minutes of six 
by my watch. 



THE STAR BOARDER 9 

Miss K. (irritatingly) . Your watch needs overhauling, 
Miss Painter! 

Miss H. (very sliarply). Miss KHckem, will you be kind 
enough to — er — restrain your tongue for at least a minute ! 
Of course, those new-fangled wrist watches are, as a rule, 
very unreliable timekeepers. If you ladies will excuse me, I'll 
telephone to the nearest railroad station for the correct 
time. (She rises with great dignity and leaves the room 
by door at rear.) 

Miss K. (triumphantly). Well, our sweet tempered 
hostess has made a mistake — at last. 

Mrs. Eaton (laughing) . Do you think she'll survive it? 

Miss K. (also laughing). I don't know. It's pretty 
hard to kill the hostess of a boarding-house ! 

Miss H. re-entering by door in rear. 

Miss H. Well, the line was busy, but I am absolutely 
sure my clock is correct! (She sits doivn at head of table.) 
Ladies, I have decided upon one thing, that henceforth, be- 
ginning with breakfast tomorrow, any of you who is late at 
a meal will not be permitted to eat at that meal. And this 
regulation will be most rigidly enforced whether you are 
only one second late or an hour late. 

Miss K. (in a tone of mock perplexity). But, Miss Hun- 
gerford, how shall we know what time it is? Shall we go 
by observatory time or by this household's time? 

Miss H. (severely turning towards and pointing to the 
clock). Our meals will be regulated by that clock! 

Miss K. (in the same tone as before). But supposing 
that clock should stop? 

Miss H. (very positively). It won't! It's been ticking 
ever since Grandfather Brown willed it to me, and I have 
never yet forgotten to wind it up. And it's going to tell 
the time for meals in our household just as long as Martha 
Hungerford presides over this table. But we will not dis- 
cuss the matter further! Will you have some more soup, 
Mrs. Eaton? There's no need to ask you — you ahuays do! 

Mrs. E. (quietly). I should like some soup, Miss Hun- 
gerford. I haven't had any yet. 



10 THE STAR BOARDER 

Miss H. (m a tone of surprise). Why, so you haven't! 
(She hastens to serve Mrs. Eaton.) Pardon me, Mrs. 
Eaton, ahhough my neglect of you is wholly excusable un- 
der the circumstances. {To Molly.) Molly, after you 
have passed Mrs. Eaton her soup, will you go to Mr. Tick- 
nor's room and inform him that ''dinner is served." (She 
hands the fourth soup plate to Molly.) 

Miss K. {with dignity). If there is no regulation 
against it. Miss Hungerford, I should like some soup. I 
haven't had any yet. 

Miss H. {zvith a smile). Well, if I didn't wholly forget 
you. Miss KUckem! {She serves Miss Klickem.) Mblly, 
before you go to Mr. Ticknor's room, will you pass Miss 
Klickem her soup. {In a severe tone.) Oh, by the way, 
Miss Klickem, have you ever heard of "regulation 8" of 
this household? 

Miss K. (lightly). That's the regulation which comes 
just after "regulation 7," isn't it? 

Miss H. (passing the fifth soup plate to Molly). It is, 
and I'll repeat it for your special benefit. There's none of 
my other guests who needs it. (Molly places the soup plate 
before Miss Klickem and then exits by rear door.) 
Kindly listen, Miss Klickem! 

Miss K. (imitating Molly). Yes'm. 

Miss H. (speaking very clearly). "Regulation 8. No 
guest is permitted to chew gum outside the privacy of her 
own room, or to use any place of repository for it except- 
ing the waste basket." Miss Klickem, I have found fre| 
quent evidence that you disobey "regulation 8." Only today 
I discovered such indisputable evidence under the mantd 
in the parlor. 

Miss K. (angrily). Well, that doesn't prove that / put' 
the gum there. Perhaps you placed it there yourself and I 
have forgotten all about it. ; 

Miss H. {zvith very great dignity). Miss Klickem, you 
are very insulting! I have never- chewed any gum in all my.{ 
Hfe, and no one has ever before accused me of chewing 



THE STAR BOARDER 11 

gum. Nor have I seen any lady in this household chewing 
gum — excepting yourself. 

Molly re-entering from door at rear. 

Molly. Mr. Ticknor ain't in his room, Miss Hunger- 
ford. 

Miss H. {in a subdued tone). I thought he was. But 
it doesn't matter much since he has paid me in advance. 
Nevertheless, any future lack of promptness at meals will 
not be tolerated. 

Miss Painter {timidly). But if one of us were only a 
minute late, couldn't she have anything to eat? 

Miss H. {grimly). No, not if she were only one second 
late! {She begins to serve herself ivith soup.) Molly, will 
you go out into the butler's pantry and get the salt cellars. 
You have forgotten to place them on the table. 

Molly {exiting through door at left). Yes'm. 

Miss Drinkwater {protcstingly). Miss Hungerford, 
do you think your new regulation is quite fair? Suppos- 
ing, for example, such a thing as our train service should 
make me a second late? 

Miss H. {very firmly). There will be no exceptions — 
no excuses ! In the future, all of you must be absolutely 
on time. 

Molly re-entering from door at left. 

Molly. There ain't no salt cellars in the butler's pantry, 
Miss Hungerford. 

Miss H. {quietly). Well, Molly, go look for them in the 
kitchen. 

Molly {exiting by door at left). Yes'm. 

Miss Fillmore {nervously). Miss Hungerford, I feel 
quite a strong draft from somezvherc. Are the windows 
closed ? 

Miss H. {patiently). Yes, Miss Fillmore, they haven't 
been open since lunch time. 

Miss Fillmore {complainingly). But there's a draft 
from someivhere. Can it be from the door. Miss Hunger- 
ford? 



12 THE STAR BOARDER 

Miss H. (less patiently). No, it can't possibly be from 
the door. 

Miss F. (rising). If you will excuse me, I shall go after 
my shawl. Miss Hungerford. (She exits throtigh door at 
rear just as Molly enters through door at left.) 

Molly (in a singsong tone). There ain't no salt cellars 
in the kitchen, Miss Hungerford. 

Miss H. (much vexed). Dear — dear — dear — dear! La- 
dies, I regret to announce that we shall have to do without 
salt cellars this evening. Miss Klickem, of course I did 
not actually see you place that gum under the mantel in my 
parlor, but there cannot be the least doubt that you were 
the depositor. 

Miss K. (lightly). I never chew gum except in the pri- 
vacy of my boudoir. 

Miss H. (sipping a little of her soup). Well, when you 
first appeared at my table, you tried to chew gum here, but 
I sternly forbade you — didn't she, Miss Drinkwater? 

Miss Fillmore returns to her seat from door at rear, 
having on a grotesque shazvl. As she sits down, Miss 
Lerned, one of the two missing guests, comes hurriedly 
in front rear door, with a newspaper in her hand, and seats 
herself in chair at left of Miss Hungerford. 

Miss H. (zvith a smile). Good evening — or morning — ■; 
Miss Lerned ! Why, zvhat has detained you ? In all the five 
years you have been my guest, I never knew you to be so 
late! 

Miss Lerned (rather breathlessly). Yes, I'm late — 
about five minutes late — I hope you'll excuse me, Miss Hun- 
gerford. 

Miss H. (condescendingly). Cer-tainly, Miss Lerned,' 
cer-tainly — but did I understand you to say that you are^ 
only five minutes late ? l 

Miss L. (glancing at her zirist zvatch). Yes, Miss Hun-' 
gerford, by my watch it is just five minutes past six. 

Miss H. (turning and pointing to the clock). Your watch 
is zvrong — it is just 6:20 by my clock. 

Miss L. (rather positiz'ely). But I set my watch by ob-;! 
servatory time, this very noon. ) 

I 



I 



THE STAR BOARDER 13 

Miss K. (trnnnphantly looking at her watch). That's 
exactly what my watch says — five mhiutes past six. 

Miss H. (judicially) . Ladies, as I have already remarked, 
those wrist watches are most miserable timekeepers, and 
]\Iiss Lerned's watch has proved beyond any doubt the truth 
of my assertion. That clock is absolutely correct, and we 
will not discuss the matter any further ! I see. Miss Lerned, 
that you have brought a newspaper to the table — a thing 
which is forbidden by one of the regulations of this house- 
hold — and I also see that you are much excited over some- 
thing. Would it be too personal to inquire if anything un- 
usual has occurred? 

Miss K. (to Mrs. Eaton, aside). There's nothing in this 
house that escapes the notice of our sweet-tongued hostess ! 

Miss L. (^impressively) . Miss Hungerford, you are quite 
right in your belief that something has excited me, al- 
though it was not that which caused me to be late. And if 
you will permit, I will read you about it from this newspaper 
— it is very important. 

Miss H. (in a tone of interest). Certainly, Miss Lerned, 
certainly. (She begins to serve Miss Lerned with soup.) 

Miss L. (reading from the newspaper). "Escape of a 
dangerous lunatic. Samuel Madden gets out of the insane 
asylum. He is now at large in this city. The authorities 
at the State Insane Asylum have just announced the escape 
of a much-dreaded inmate, the notorious Samuel Madden. 
Sometime during last night, by a most ingenious plan, he suc- 
ceeded in getting away from the Asylum, and is at present, in 
all probability, within this very city. He is, beyond question, 
'the most dangerous, as well as the most cunning maniac, 
in the country, and no one will feel safe until he is returned 
to his place of confinement. Madden is about 5 feet 6 
inches in height, with red hair and blue eyes, a smooth face, 
and prominent nose and chin. All citizens are warned to 
notify at once the State Insane Asylum (telephone number 
West 44) of the presence of any suspicious stranger." 

Miss H. (still serving Miss Lerned's soup). Well, that 
is indeed a most disturbing piece of news. Now, Miss 



14 THE STAR BOARDER 

Lerned, will you have some soup ? I forgot to ask you, but 
you always do take soup. 

Miss L. (placing the newspaper in her lap). Yes, thank 
you. Miss Hunger ford, I will take some soup. (Miss Hun- 
GERFORD passes Molly the sixth soup dish for Miss Ler- 
ned.) But don't you see that this piece of news may con- 
cern you closely? 

Miss H. (surprised). May concern me closely? 

Miss L. (sipping her soup). Yes, Miss Hungerford — 
your new guest, whom I met this noon — isn't he about 5 
feet 6 inches in height? 

Miss H. (not comprehending) . Well — about that. 
(An excitement begins among the other guests.) 

Miss L. (sipping her soup). Hasn't he red hair? 

Miss H. (still not comprehending). To come to think of 
it, he has. 

Miss L. (raising her napkin to her lips). Hasn't he blue 
eyes ? 

Miss H. (still not comprehending). Yes, he has, but 
why all these questions, Miss Lerned? 

Miss L. (sipping her soup). Don't you see? 

Miss H, (a little sharply). No, I don't! 

Miss L. (pausing in sipping her soup). Isn't his face 
perfectly smooth ? " 

Miss H. (beginning to understand). It — is. But you 
don't think?— 

Miss L. (more im,pressively) . Of course he may not be. 
But hasn't he a prominent nose and chin? (Great excite- 
m,ent among the other guests.) 

Miss H. (somezvhat excitedly). Why — perhaps it is the 
insane man ! 

Miss L. (calmly). It looks to me as though he is. Now, 
do you know anything about your new guest ? 

Miss H. (more excitedly). Nothing at all, except what 
he told me. He gave no references, but he appeared like a 
perfect gentleman, and paid me promptly in advance. 

Miss L. (again sipping her soitp). Well, there doesn't 
seem much doubt that your new guest is a dangerous lu- 
natic. 



THE STAR BOARDER 15 

Miss H. {very excitedly). It ^nust be he! Miss Lerned, 
what shall I do? 

Miss L. {still sipping her soup). If I were you, I should 
telephone to the State Asylum. 

Miss H. {rising hastily). I will^at once! 

Miss L. {looking at her nezvspaper). This newspaper 
gives its telephone number as "West 44." 

Miss H. {rushing out of the room by door at rear). 
"West 44," "West 44," "West 44 !" 

Miss P. {amid ivild excitement at table, all standing up). 
Isn't this aw-ful, isn't this aw-f ul ! 

Miss D. {calmly). Perhaps, Miss Lerned, he may not be 
the lunatic. 

Miss L. {quietly). I am afraid that he is — does Miss 
Hungerford expect him to dinner? 

Miss D. {a little less calmly). Yes, she does, but he 
hasn't come yet. We don't kno^j zvhere he is — he isn't in 
his room. 

yii&s V . {zvalking around nen'ously) . What .y/ia// we do ? 
What shall we do? Supposing he should come in nozv! Oh, 
■ if only there were another man in this house! A brave, 
broad-shouldered, handsome man who could protect us ! 
' Miss K. {rather enthusiastically). That's right! I wish 
just such a man were here — this very moment! 

Mrs. E. {also rather enthusiastically) . So do /.' — 

Miss D. {a little sarcastically). Well, there isn't any 
brave, broad-shouldered, handsome man here to protect us, 
so all we can do is to wait — and keep perfectly calm. 

Miss F. {pulling her shawl more closely around her). 
There's that draft again — {she snee::es) — choo! choo! 

Miss P. {hysterically, moving tozvards zvindozv at right). 
I'm not going to stay and be killed ! I'm going to jump out 
of that window right nozv! 

Miss-D. {quietly). Be calm, Miss Painter, be perfectly 
calm! The best thing to do under such circumstances is to 
remain cool and collected. I once heard of a woman who 
remained perfectly calm, and humored an insane man, that 
saved her life. That is exactly how we must act, if he 
enters ! 



16 THE STAR BOARDER 

Miss P. (with a scream). Oh, I hear a footstep! 

Miss Hungerford re-enters by door at rear; they all 
gather around her, excitedly. 

Miss H. (m a very agitated voice). Well, I telephoned 
the Asylum, and they are coming at once! They think, be- 
yond doubt, that my guest is the lunatic ! They told me to 
keep perfectly calm, and to humor him in every way. Also, 
to put out of sight everything that might be used by this 
maniac as a weapon. {Energetically.) Come, ladies, let us 
hide av/ay all the knives and forks on the table ! 

(Miss Hungerford hastens to the table, and, assisted by 
the others, removes all the knives and forks from it; Molly, 
also assisting, drops several of the knives and forks.) 

Miss H. {looking excitedly around her). Now, where 
on earth shall we hide them? 

Miss D. {quickly). Why not put them into the closet, 
then lock its door. 

Miss H. {hurrying to the closet and pulling open its 
door). The very thing! {They place all the knives and 
forks upon the Uoor of the closet, and then Miss Hunger- 
ford hastily locks its door and puts the key into her pocket.) 

Miss L. {as they return from the closet tozvards the ta- 
ble). Perhaps, after all, Miss Hungerford, your new 
boarder will not come to dinner. {She glances at her zmst 
watch.) It is now just quarter past six. 

Miss H. {rather sharply, turning tozvards her clock). 
You mean, Miss Lerned, that it is exactly half-past six. 
{Just then the clock strikes once — the half -hour.) 

Miss L. {rather positively). But it is only quarter-past 
six by wy watch, and I am sure my watch is dih?,olutely cor- 
rect. 

Miss H. {very sharply). We will not discuss the matter 
further, Miss Lerned. My clock says (5.-J0 and 6:^0 it is — 
in this household I 

Miss D. {soothingly). Would it not be a good plan, Miss 
Hungerford, if we all sat down at the table again and acted 
just as if nothing had happened. As we are nozv, this de- 
mented person might be aroused. 



THE STAR BOARDER ' 17 

Miss H. {quickly, starting toivards the table). You are 
right, Miss Drinkwater. Ladies, please to resume your 
seats at the table, and to appear as cool and natural as pos- 
sible. 

Miss D. (as they take their seats again). What kind of 
looking man is this new guest? From that newspaper de- 
scription he can't be very handsome. 

Miss H. (sipping her soup). Well, he's fairly good look- 
ing — in fact, of rather prepossessing appearance — but I'll 
never again trust any man's personal appearance. 

Miss L. (judicially). No, it is not wise for woman to 
trust man's personal appearance — or, indeed, his word! 

Miss K. (giggling nervously). Gee, I have heard of a 
good many queer things, but never of a star boarder wTio 
was a lunatic. 

Miss H. (sipping her soup, very slozdy). It is true. Miss 
Klickem, that one or two of my guests have not been over- 
burdened with brains, but most of them have been normal, 
and this man is my first really insane guest. 

Miss P. (zvith a scream). Oh! I hear a footstep! 

Tremendous excitement at tJie table, presently Mr. Tick- 
NOR enters from door at rear. He advances to his seat at 
the table, bozvs courteously to Miss Hungerford and the 
other ladies, then seats himself. 

Miss H. (very nervously) . Good evening, sir. Mr. Tick- 
nor, you have already met Miss Lerned and Miss Fillmore. 
The other ladies are Miss Drinkwater, Miss Klickem, Mrs. 
Eaton and Miss Painter. 

(Mr. Ticknor rises and bozvs to each in turn. The ladies 
bozv, trying to assume a cool and natural appearance. Then 
Mr. Ticknor sits dozvn again.) 

Miss H. (smilingly) . Mr. Ticknor, may I serve you with 
some soup? 

Mr. Ticknor (with a bozv). Yes, thank you. Miss Hun- 
gerford. Really, I must apologize for being late, but, to 
confess the truth, I went to sleep up on your roof — you 
have a most delightful roof. 



18 THE STAR BOARDER 

Miss H. (in amazement). You went to sleep on my 
roof! Why, ''regulation 6" of my household — {pausing ab- 
ruptly, then smiling very graciotisly) — isn't there a splendid 
view from my roof, Mr. Ticknor? 

Mr. T. (enthusiastically). Magnificent! I adore roofs — 
I have never gotten over my boyhood liking for roofs. 

Miss H. (trying to be enthusiastic , passing the soup dish 
to Molly_, who places it in front of Mr. Ticknor). Yes, it 
is thrilling, I'll admit ! I used to climb roofs myself. 

Mr. T. (sipping his soup). I had a book with me — one 
of the "best sellers" — and I fell asleep. I did not wake up 
until about five minutes ago. 

Miss H. (also sipping her soup; all the others are pre- 
tending to sip theirs). It must be perfectly delightful to fall 
asleep on a roof. 

Mr. T. (smiling). Yes, unless you happen to fall ofi 
asleep ! (Miss Hungerford^ and then the other ladies, laugh 
heartily.) 

Miss H. (attem,pting to dry her eyes with her napkin). 
Ha ! Ha ! Ha ! How very witty you are, sir ! Unless you hap- 
pen to fall ofif asleep ! Ha ! Ha ! Ha ! 

Mr. T. (in a rather solemn tone). Perhaps, Miss Hun- 
gerford, you can tell me why pigs eat so much ? 

Miss H. (becoming very serious). Why pigs eat so 
much ? 

Mr. T. (more solemnly). Yes, why pigs devour so much? 

Miss H. (very seriously). I am sure I don't know, Mr. 
Ticknor. 

Mr. T. (smiling). Because they are trying to be hogs, 
Miss Hungerford! (Miss Hungerford hesitates, then 
laughs heartily; the others follow her example.) 

Miss H.' (again attempting to dry her eyes with her nap- 
kin). ^ Ha! Ha! Ha! That is the best joke I ever heard in 
my life, and I have heard a good many funny things at this 
table! Ha! Ha! Ha! 

Mr. T. (sipping his soup). I am glad you all appreciate 
it so much. It's really an excellent joke, but very few peo- 
ple understand it. 

Miss H. (also sipping her soiip). Anyone who cannot 



THE STAR BOARDER 19 

understand a joke like that, must be out of his mind — 
(quickly) — that is, he must lack the golden sense of humor. 

Mr. T. (sipping his soup). That is what I have often 
thought. Well, to return to your roof, I did not sleep there 
very long, but — horrors ! — zvhat a dreadful dream I did 
have ! Did you ever dream of being insane, Miss Hunger- 
ford ? 

Miss H. (shrinking somezfhat azvay from him). N-o — er 
— no, sir. 

Mr. T. (looking slowly and strangely aroimd over the 
table). Well, ladies, I dreamed of being insane — of sud- 
denly going insane — and then I did such terrible things ! 

Miss H. (shrinking still further azvay from him,). You 
— did — such — terrible — things ? 

Mr. T. (gloomily). Yes, madam, but, of course, it w^as 
all a dream. 

Miss H. (trying to jest). I hope, Mr. Ticknor, your 
dream was not caused by anything you have eaten in this 
household. 

Mr. T. (positively). No, Miss Hunger ford, I did not 
eat enough at lunch tO' affect me in such a disagreeable way. 
Probably my bad dream was caused by reading in a news- 
paper that a dangerous lunatic had escaped from the State 
Asylum. 

Miss H. (jiervously) . Doubtless it was that. 

Mr. T. (again looking slozuly and strangely around over 
the table). Yes, ladies, a dreadful and dangerous maniac! 
His escape impressed me very deeply. (He glances at the 
clock.) Why, I didn't know I was so late in coming to din- 
ner. (He drazvs out his ivatch.) Well, I thought not. Miss 
Hungerford, your clock is just fifteen minutes fast. I have 
here the correct time. Permit me to set your clock right. 
(He rises.) 

Miss H. (very nerz'ously) . But my clock must be correct. 
It does not gain one minute in a year. 

Mr. T. (putting his watch back into his pocket). But, 
nevertheless, it is fifteen minutes fast. I set my watch by 
observatory time, late this afternoon. Pardon me ladies. 
(He leaves the table and walks towards the clock.) It is 



20 THE STAR BOARDER 

probable that your clock needs repairing — but I shall merely 
stop it for fifteen minutes and then start it again. {He 
begins to open the lozver door of the clock.) 

Miss H. (very quickly and very sharply). Mr. Ticknor! 
Just one moment! {He drops his hand azvay from the clock 
door and faces tozvards her.) If you will be so kind, sir, 
before regulating the clock, to assist me in something else. 
I keep all my table knives in that closet — {with a motion 
tozvards closet at right) — in a drawer, and, somehow, I 
haven't been able this evening to get it open. So, if we are 
to use any knives at dinner, we must open that drawer. / 
can't open it, Mr. Ticknor, but per-haps — {zvith a szveet 
smile) — would it be too much trouble — for you to open that 
drawer ? 

Mr. T. {obligingly) . No trouble at all Miss Hungerford, 
no trouble at all ! {She rises and goes to the closet, fol- 
lowed by Mr. Ticknor. She takes key from pocket and 
unlocks the door, leaving key in door. Then she opens the 
door.) 

Miss H. {zuith another szveet smile). I am sure it is z'cry 
kind of you, sir. (She stands aside.) The drawer seems 
to be "stuck" — all it needs is a good strong pull. Oh, by 
the way, there are some things upon the closet floor — will 
you please not step upon them when you enter. (Mr. Tick- 
nor opens the door wider and enters cautiottsly; then, as 
soon as he has advanced far enough into the closet, Miss 
Hungerford slams its door, hastily locking it. She speaks] 
with breathless energy.) TJiere — you crazy galoot — I've got 
you canned. {Still holding the key in her hand, she sinks^ 
wearily into Mr. Ticknor's chair, zvhile Miss Painter and 
Miss Fillmore fall fainting back into their seats.) 

Miss D. {amid increasing disturbance inside the closet).' 
I do hope that closet lock and its door are both strong! 

Miss H. {rising from Mr. Ticknor's chair, Miss FiLL-rri 
MORE and Miss Painter shozving signs of recovering) . No,' 
neither the lock nor the door is strong. {Heazfy pounding 
upon door and muffled shouts.) 

Miss D. {nervously). I wish those people from the 
Asylum would come. 



THE STAR BOARDER 21 

Miss K. (stopping Jicr ears). He's "bug-house" nozv, all 
right! Mercy, what wicked words he is using! 

Miss H. (starting towards the door). There's the tele- 
phone ! It may be from the Asylum people. (She rushes 
out of the room by door at rear, still holding the closet's 
key in her hand.) 

Miss P. (zmldly, zmth a scream). I'm going to jump out 
of that window right nozv! (She hurries towards windozv 
at right, hut is stopped by Miss Drinkwater.) 

Miss D. (persuading her to sit dozmi in her chair at the 
table.) Be calm, Miss Painter, be perfectly calm! 

Miss K. (listening at the door). My! But some of his 
language is mighty choice. It's far ahead of anything I 
ever heard my boss say, even when he's maddest. 

Miss D. (uneasily, seizing the tongs front the fireplace). 
Ladies, arm yourselves ! In case he breaks forth, smite him 
without mercy! 

Miss K. (grabbing the poker, flourishing it). Gee, if I 
ever bat him one on the bean, he'll break that new rule of 
our household all right ! 

Miss H. re-entering from door at rear, much agitated. 

Miss H. Oh, ladies, what an aw-ful mistake 1 have 
made! The Asylum people just telephoned me that the hi- 
natic has been captured and is now in his cell again. What 
on earth am I to do about that harmless man I locked up 
in the closet? 

Miss K. (unsympathetically) . I know what you shotdd 
do. You should make a nezu regulation at once, not to lock 
up your guests in closets! (More pounding upon the door.) 
Miss H. (hesitatingly). What shall I do? 

J Miss D. (decidedly). Well, you've got to let him out at 

'^once! 

p Miss H. (fumbling in her pocket). Oh — gracious — I 

■have lost the key! (She searches around for it zmldly.) 
Ladies, please help me find it! (Sharply.) Molly, will you 
look for that key, instead of standing there like a — idiot! 
(More pounding upon door; Molly leaves the room by 
rear door, the others search energetically around the room; 



22 THE STAR BOARDER 

Miss Drinkwater and Miss Klickem return their weap- 
ons to the fireplace.) 

Miss H. {excitedly, starting toivards door at rear). Per- 
haps I lost it when I was telephoning. 

At this moment Mr. Ticknor sticceeds in breaking the 
lock of the closet door and violently enters the dining room, 
scattering out into it tvith his feet som,e of the knives and 
forks which had been placed on the closet floor. 

Mr. T. {furiously). What the devil do you mean by this 
outrage ? I say, what do you mean by locking me up in that 
closet? Are you all crazy? Is this an Insane Asylum? 

Miss H. {very meekly). No, Mr. Ticknor, this is not an 
insane asylum — but we thought that you were. 

Mr. T. {savagely glaring at her). You thought that I 
was ! Madam, you will find that this hallucination of yours- 
will cost you dear ! {He walks wildly up and dozvn the 
room.) How dare you, Miss Hungerford, to incarcerate me 
like a common criminal in that dreadful closet! Insane?. 
Why I was never insane in all my life — the very idea! 
{Pausing to glare at her once more.) Again I ask, what do 
you mean by locking me up in that closet? 

Miss H. {still more meekly). Well, you see — when you 
began to interfere with my clock — to stop it — I thought the 
only way to stop you was to lock you up in the closet. I 
was afraid you might injure the clock. 

Mr. T. {bitterly). What? That old chromo of a time- 
piece ! That homely survival from an ash dump ! Madam, 
you would amuse me greatly were this matter not so seri- 
ous. That clock! It's a — deuce of a clock! 

Miss H. {sharply). Sir, you shall not insult my great- 
grandfather's clock! 

Mr. T. {sarcastically). Your gff^af-grandfather's clock! 
Bah ! To lock me, Timothy Ticknor, in a closet for the sake 
of that scarecrow of a clock! 

Miss H. {very sharply) . Sir! 

Molly entering suddenly from door at rear, holding aloft 
the closet door key and the salt cellars. 



THE STAR BOARDER 23 

Molly. Miss Hungerford, Miss Hungerford, I've found 
the closet door key and the salt cellars! They was on the 
mantelpiece in the parlor. 

Miss H. {clearly). On the mantelpiece where Miss 
Klickem deposited her chewing gum? 

Molly {approaching her). Yes'm. 

Miss H. {with dignity). Please place them on the side- 
board for the present. 

Molly {following directions). Yes'm. {Again ap- 
proaching Miss Hungerford and then pointing her finger 
accusingly at Mr. Ticknor.) Miss Hungerford, he's the 
one that set your clock ahead ! 

Miss H. {quickly). What's that, Molly? Did you say 
that Mr. Ticknor set my clock ahead? 

Molly {positively). Yes'm. I seen him do it, and he 
gave me a quarter not to see him do it! 

Miss H. {very sternly). Mr. Ticknor, is this true? Did 
you set the hands of my clock ahead, and then give a quar- 
ter to my maid that she should not betray you? 

Mr. T. {hesitatingly). Well — er — that is — er — 

Miss H. {zmth utmost severity). Sir — no evasion — did 
you or did you not set that clock ahead ? 

Mr. T. {rather meekly). Yes, Miss Hungerford, I did. 
Permit me to explain. When I came to lunch this noon that 
clock was going, but when I happened to enter the dining 
room later, it had stopped. Naturally I investigated and 
discovered why it had stopped. It had run down. 

Miss H. {zveakly). It — had — run — down? Impossible! 

Mr. T. {somezvhat nervously). Yes, Miss Hungerford, 
it had run down — it had not been wound up. Accordingly, 
I wound it up myself, and just as I was setting its hands 
by my watch that maid of yours entered, and I gave her a 
quarter not to say anything about the matter. I was afraid 
you might be angry. 

Miss H. {very weakly, sitting down in a chair). Nozv I 
remember — yes, I did forget to wind it up. {Rising from 
her seat.) But, Mr. Ticknor, if you set that clock right, why 
is it fifteen minutes fast? 

Mr. T. {very meekly). My watch was wrong. I found 



24 THE STAR BOARDER 

that out afterwards. {He walks tozvards the clock.) Now, 
Miss Hungerford, with your permission to regulate the 
harm which my hands have done, let me stop your clock for 
fifteen minutes until the correct time overtakes it. 

Miss H. {very sharply). Mr. Ticknor, you leave that 
clock alone! 

Mr. T. {quickly turning away from the clock). Yes, 
madam ! 

Miss H. {energetically). Molly, will you pick up the 
knives and forks from the floor, close the closet door, re- 
move the soup plates and bring in the rest of the dinner? 

Molly {emphatically). No mnval 1 won't! I gives my 
notice! Mr. Ticknor — take back your — money! 

{She throws the quarter which Mr. Ticknor gave her vio- 
lently to the floor, then exits furiously by door on left, 
banging it shut. The clock strikes seven.) 

Curtain. 



DENISON'S ACTING PLAYS 

Partial List of Successful and Popular Plays. Large Catalogue Free 



FARCES, COMEDIETAS. Etc 
Price 25 Cents Each 

M. F. 

All on a Summer's Day, 40 min. 4 6 
Aunt Harriet's Night Out, 35 

min 1 2 

Aunt Matilda's Birthday Party, 

35 min 11 

Billy's Chorus Girl, 30 min... 2 3 

Borrowed Luncheon, 20 min.. 5 

Borrowing Trouble, 20 min.... 3 5 
Case Against Casey, 40 min... 23 

Class Ship, 35 min 3 8 

Divided Attentions, 35 min... 1 4 

Fun in Photo Gallery, 30 min.. 6 10 

Getting Rid of Father, 20 min. 3 1 

Goose Creek Line, 1 hr 3 10 

Great Pumpkin Case, 35 min.. 12 

Hans Von Smash, 30 min.... 4 3 

Honest Peggy, 25 min 8 

Irish Linen Peddler, 40 min... 3 3 
Just Like a Woman, 35 min. ..33 

Last Rehearsal, 25 min 2 3 

Men Not Wanted, 30 min 8 

Mother Goose's Goslings, 30 m. 7 9 

Mrs. Jenkins' Brilliant Idea, 3Sm. 8 

Mrs. Stubbins' Book Agent, 30 m. 3 2 

Not a Man in the House, 40 m. 5 

Paper Wedding, 30 min 1 5 

Pat's Matrimonial \'enture, 25 

min 1 2 

Patsy O'Wang, 35 min 4 3 

Rummage Sale, 50 min 4 10 

Sewing for the Heathen, 40 

min. 9 

Shadows, 35 min 3 4 

Sing a Song of Seniors, 30 min. 7 

Taking Father's Place, 30 min. 5 3 
Teacher Kin I Go Home, 35 

min 7 3 

Too Much of a Good Thing, 45 

min 3 6 

Two Ghosts in White, 20 min. . 8 

Two of a Kind, 40 min 2 3 

Uncle Dick's Mistake, 20 min.. 3 2 

Wanted: a Correspondent, 45 m. 4 4 
Watch, a Wallet, and a Jack of 

Spades, 40 min 3 6 

Whole Truth. 40 min 5 4 

Who's the Boss? 30 min 3 6 

Wide Enough for Two, 45 min. 5 2 

Wrong Baby, 25 min 8 

FARCES, COMEDIETAS, Etc. 
Price IS Cents Each 

April Fools, 30 min 3 

Assessor, The, 15 min 3 2 

Baby Show at Pineville, 20 min. 19 
Before the Play Begins, IS 

min 2 1 

Billy's Mishaps, 20 min 2 3 

Country Justice, 15 min 8 

Cow that Kicked Chicago, 25 m. 3 2 

Family Strike, 20 min 3 3 

First-Class Hotel, 20 min 4 

For Love and Honor, 20 min.. 2 1 

Fudge and a Burglar, 15 min.. 5 



M. F. 

Great Medical Dispensary, 30 m. 6 
Initiating a Granger, 25 min.. 8 

Kansas Immigrants, 20 min... 5 1 

Lottie Sees It Through, 35 min. 3 4 

Pair of Lunatics, 20 min 1 1 

Pat, the Apothecary, 35 min.. 6 2 

Please Pass the Cream, 20 min. 1 1 

Second Childhood, 15 min.... 2 2 

Smith's Unlucky Day, 20 min.. 1 1 

That Rascal Pat, 30 min 3 2 

Two Aunts and a Photo, 20 m. 4 
Two Gentlemen in a Fix, IS m. 2 

Wanted: A Hero, 20 min 1 1 

VAUDEVILLE SKETCHES 
Price 25 Cents Each 

Amateur, 15 min 1 1 

At Harmony Junction, 20 min. 4 
Breakfast Food for Two, 20 m. 1 1 

Cold Finish, 15 min 2 1 

Coming Champion, 20 min.... 2 
Fresh Timothy Hay, 20 min ..21 

Her Hero, 20 min 1 1 

Hey, Rube! 15 min 1 

It Might Happen, 20 min 1 1 

Little Miss Enemy, 15 min.... 1 1 

Little Red School House, 20 m. 4 
Marriage and After, 10 min.. 1 
One Sweetheart for Two, 20 m. 2 
Oyster Stew, 10 min......... 2 

Pete Yansen's Curl's Moder, 10m. 1 
Quick Lunch Cabaret, 20 min. . 4 

Si and I, 15 min 1 

Special Sale, 15 min 2 

Street Faker, 15 min 3 

Such Ignorance, 15 min 2 

Sunny Son of Italy, 15 min.. 1 

Time Table, 20 min 1 1 

Tramp and the Actress, 20 min. 1 1 
Troubles of Rozinski, 15 min.. 1 
Two Jay Detectives, 15 min.. 3 
Umbrella Mender, 15 min.... 2 
Vait a Minute 2 

BLACK-FACE PLAYS 
Price 15 Cents Each 

Axin' Her Father, 25 min 2 3 

Booster Club of Blackville, 25 

min 10 

Colored Honeymoon, 25 min... 2 2 
Coon Creek Courtship, 15 m... 1 1 
Coofitown Thirteen Club, 25 m. 14 
Darktown Fire Brigade, 25m.. 10 
Good Mornin' Judge, 35 min.. 9 2 

Hungry, 15 min 2 

Love and Lather, 35 min 3 2 

Memphis Mose, 25 min 5 1 

Oh, Doctor! 30 min 6 2 

Troubled by Ghosts, 10 min... 4 
What Happened to Hannah, IS 

min 1 1 

A great number of 

Standard and Amateur Plays 

not found here are listed In 

Denison's Catalogue 



T.S.DENISON & COMPANY,Publisher$,154W.Randolph St., Chicago 



X^ 



POPULAR ENTERTi 

Illustrated Pai 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 

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IlDENUCN&COnMNY 

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IN this Series 
are found 
books touching 
every feature 
in the enter- 
tainment field. 
Finely made, 
good paper, 
clear print and 
each book has 
an attractive 
individual cov- 
er design. 



A Partial List 

DIALOGUES 

All Sorts of Dialogues. 

Selected, fine for older pupils. 
Catchy Comic Dialogues. 

Very clever; for young people. 
Children's Comic Dialogues. 

From six to eleven years of age. 
Country School Dialogues. 

Brand new, original. 
Dialogues for District Schools. 

For country schools. 
Dialogues from Dickens. 

Thirteen selections. 
Friday Afternoon Dialogues. 

Over 60,000 copies sold. 
From Tots to Teens. 

Dialogues and recitations. 
Humorous Homespun Dialogues. 

For older ones. 
Little People's Plays. 

From 7 to 13 years of age. 
Lively Dialogues. 

For all ages; mostly humorous. 
Merry Little Dialogues. 

Thirty-eight original selections. 
When the Lessons are Over. 

Dialogues, drills, plays. 
Wide Awake Dialogues. 

Original successful. 

SPEAKERS, MONOLOGUES 

Choice Pieces for Little People. 

A child's speaker. 
The Comic Entertainer. 

Recitations, monologues, dialogues. 
Dialect Readings. 

Irish, Dutch, Negro, Scotch, etc. 
The Favorite Speaker, 

Choice prose and poetry. 
The Friday Afternoon Speaker. 

For pupils of all ages. 
Humorous IVIonologues. 

Particularly for ladies. 
Monologues for Young . Folks. 

Clever, humorous, original. 



Monologues Grave and Gay. 

Dramatic and humorous. 
Scrap- Book Recitations. 

Choice collections, pathetic, hu- 
morous, descriptive, pro.se, 
poetry. 15 Nos. 

DRILLS 

The Best Drill Book. 

Very popular drills and marches. 
The Favorite Book of Drills. 

Drills that sparkle with originality. 
Little Plays With Drills. 

For children from 6 to 11 years. 
The Surprise Drill Book. 

Fresh, novel, drills and marches. 

SPECIALTIES 

The Boys' Entertainer. 

Monologues, dialogues, drills. 
Children's Party Book. 

Invitations, decorations, games. 
The Christmas Entertainer. 

Novel and diversified. 
The Days We Celebrate. 

Entertainments for all the holidays. 
Good Things for Christmas. 

Recitations, dialogues, drills. 
Good Things for Sunday Schools. 
Dialogues, exercises, recitations. 
Good Things for Thanksgiving. 

A gem of a book. 
Good Things for Washington 
, and Lincoln Birthdays. 
Little Folks' Budget. 

Easy pieces to speak, songs. 
One Hundred Entertainments. 
New parlor diversions, socials. 
Patriotic Celebrations. 

Great variety of material. 
Pictured Readings and Tableaux. 

Entirely original features. 
Pranks and Pastimes. 

Parlor games for children. 
Shadow Pictures, Pantomimes, 

Charades, and how to prepare. 
Tableaux and Scenic Readings. 

New and novel; for all ages. 
Twinkling Fingers and Sway- 
ing Figures. For little tots. 
Yuletlde Entertainments. 

A choice Christmas collection. 

MINSTRELS, JOKES 

The Black-Face Joker. 

Minstrels' and end men's gags. 
A Bundle of Burnt Cork Comedy. 

Monologues, stump speeches, etc. 
Laughland,via the Ha-Ha Route. 

A merry trip for fun tourists. 
Negro IVIinstrels, 

All about the business. 
The New Jolly Jester. 

Funny stori es, jokes, gags, etc. 

Laree Illustrated Catalogue Free 



T.S.DENISON & COM^ANY,Publishers,154W.Randoipii St., Chicago 



